Expressions
are ingrained in our society deeper than a termite in its favorite
flavor of wood, adding flavor to our conversations and color to our
communications. Some have graduated into clichés due to the commonality
of the vernacular, and while most are still used correctly, some have
become contorted compilations of their former selves.
There are
websites dedicated to collecting poorly-structured metaphors to bring a
bit of humor to the daily doldrums, and student essay attempts seem to
garner the most glee from grammar snobs. Here are a few of my favorites:
“The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.”
“Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.”
“Every minute without you feels like 60 seconds.”
While
these are certainly entertaining, they thankfully haven’t gained
popularity beyond the humorous examples of things that just don’t quite
work. Yet, other phases continue to feel the pain of incorrect usage
over and over in daily exchanges. Here are 21 common expressions that
have suffered unintentional abuse and are crying out for vindication.
Fear not, dear distressed distortions, now is your moment for
exoneration!
(Throughout this piece, if my explanations confuse you further,
The phrases on the left are incorrect and the phrases on the right are correct.)
1: It’s a doggy-dog world vs. It’s a dog-eat-dog world.
If
it’s really a “doggy-dog world,” then we are all in big trouble. I
prefer the fact that humans still veto dogs on the planet. If Fido is
running for mayor, we may as well just lock up all the mail men for
their safety and invest in fire hydrant stocks. However, if it’s a
“dog-eat-dog world,” this conveys that people are merciless and will do
anything to their own kind to get to the top. This is usually the
underlying meaning intended. Hmm… when faced with that side of human
nature, maybe I would prefer the world going to the dogs.
2: Waiting with baited breath vs. Waited with bated breath
If
you’re “waiting with baited breath,” I really feel for those within
sniffing distance of your respiration. Unless you really mean to say
that you are waiting after just consuming large quantities of fish bait,
then I think the word you’re looking for is “bated.” The word “bated”
comes from the word “abate,” which means “to lessen or reduce.” So, if
you are so excited that you are barely breathing, then bated breath is
your best choice. Please, for the sake of the unsuspecting populace,
leave the squid sandwich at home!
3: Pawn off vs. Palm off
What
you mean to convey is “palm off,” which means to “pass something by
concealment or deception.” Think of a card game where the card dealer
surreptitiously deals a novice player a low card. While pawn shops
certainly may have some shady exchanges, the original phrase had nothing
to do with buying a gold chain in a seedy store.
4: Slight of hand vs. Sleight of hand
“Slight”
refers to something “small in degree or inconsiderable.” The word
“sleight” is related to the word “sly,” and means “deceitful craftiness
or dexterity.” Unless you meant to say that the magician had tiny hands
of no consequence, the correct terminology is “sleight of hand.” If you
want to be really fancy, the technical term is called prestidigitation.
It means the person has quick fingers that can deceive you. Now, a
magician, theoretically, may need more practice and only have a slight
sleight of hand. However, unless you are trying to be insulting, use the
second phrase.
5: Take a different tact vs. Take a different tack
Unless
you plan to change your manners in social situations, the correct usage
is “take a different tack.” This is a sailing metaphor. To tack is to
change the direction of a sailing vessel by shifting the sales and
turning the bow into the wind.
6: Comparing apples to oranges
Most
people who use this metaphor mean that there are vast differences in
the topics at hand. It means that the contrasting items have very little
in common. For example, as it is used in this sentence, “You can’t
compare a fish to a bird, that’s like comparing apples to oranges.”
However, apples and oranges have many more commonalities than
differences. They are both fruit. They both are grown from seeds and
picked from trees in orchards. Both apples and oranges are sweet,
similar in size, weight, and shape. Both fruits may be eaten and juiced.
This metaphor lacks logical significance. It would make more sense to
say, “comparing apples to aardvarks.”
7: Ante Up
The
term “ante up” is used often in the business world. The user is trying
to convey the need to supply a commitment of resources. However, the
word “ante” is taken from the world of gambling. I don’t think most
organizations really mean to convey that their business ventures are
comparable in risk to a poker game.
8: Mute point vs. Moot point
“Mute”
means “incapable of speech.” “Moot” means “debatable or doubtful.”
While a moot point may cause someone to stop talking, it doesn’t render
them mute. The point, not being a person, never had any ability to talk
in the first place. So the word “moot” is a much better descriptive
choice.
9: Blessing in the skies vs. Blessing in disguise
While
a blessing may indeed come from the skies, unless you’ve been doing a
rain dance around a fire, this was not the original thought for this
phrase. Most of the time, people mean that even though things don’t seem
to be working in your favor, later you will look back and see the
hardship as a benefit or “blessing in disguise.”
10: Wreck havoc vs. Wreak havoc
To
“wreck” means “to put something in the state of chaos.” The word
“havoc” means chaos. So, if you say, “This dreadful weather will wreck
havoc on our outdoor party!” you are literally saying that the weather
will create chaos out of chaos. It’s redundant. However, “to wreak”
means “to cause something to happen.” This works much better. Their is
enough chaos to go around. Let’s not create more!
11: Escape Goat vs. Scapegoat
A
“scapegoat” in today’s society is someone who may be innocent, but gets
blamed for someone else’s actions. The word originally comes from a
Hebrew religious practice: During the Day of Atonement, the high priest
confessed the sins of the nation of Israel over the innocent goat. The
goat was then driven into the desert to carry the sins of the nation as
far away as possible and die in the wilderness. So, historically the
goat didn’t fair well and certainly didn’t escape peril for long.
Therefore, “scapegoat” is the correct usage.
12: Hunger pains vs. Hunger pangs
“Pang”
means a “sudden spasm of pain.” Saying “hunger pains” could work, but
is much less descriptive. While both experiences are uncomfortable, a
way to reduce the painful assault on the grammar guru’s senses is to
implement the correct usage of “hunger pangs.”
13: Wet your appetite vs. Whet your appetite
While
I won’t stand in the way of someone easing their hunger pangs with a
filling beverage, you can’t “wet your appetite” unless you find a way to
dunk ravenous hunger in a liquid substance. Instead, the word “whet,”
which means “to sharpen or hone,” works better. When you “whet your
appetite,” you sharpen it or make it more intense, much as one would use
a whetstone on a knife.
14: Pour over vs. Pore over
Trust
me! You do not want the librarian chasing you out of the sacred
gathering of books because you poured liquid over the cherished
Britannica edition. The word you are looking for is “pore,” which means
“to study closely.” Just don’t waste too much time poring over your
pores. Invest in a good dermatologist instead.
15: Tow the Line vs. Toe the Line
The
origins of this idiom come from the military. It is thought to mean the
practice of arranging one’s feet on a line for inspection. So,
literally, to put one’s toe on a line to be examined for a certain
standard. It does not mean to drudge along dragging a line.
16: Peak or peek my curiosity vs. Pique my curiosity
It
is rude to peek at my curiosity like an exhibition display, or to
arrive at the peak of my curiosity by climbing it like a mountain.
However, if you would like to pique, or stimulate, my curiosity, than
you have my rapt attention.
17: Tongue and cheek vs. Tongue in cheek
While
I have never made this a habit as it sounds like a biting hazard,
apparently people will stick their tongues in their cheeks when lying or
joking. Others obviously aren’t aware of this gesture either, since
they mispronounce it “tongue and cheek.”
18: Take for granite vs. Take for granted
The
word “grant” means “to accord as a favor or privilege.” The word
“granite” is a stone used to remodel your kitchen counter. Now, you can
take for granted the beautiful granite, but that’s about as far as you
can go.
19: On tender hooks vs. On tenterhooks
Have
you ever met a tender hook? I haven’t. Most of the hooks I’ve
encountered are hard, sharp, and not exactly on the dainty side. The
phrase, which means “to be kept in a state of suspense,” is “on
tenterhooks.” Tenterhooks are not encountered in the hardware store
today, so let me give you some background: a tenterhook was a medieval
tool used for making cloth. These small hooks hung fabric that was
stretched for the manufacturing processes, so the cloth was literally
“left hanging.”
20: To give someone free reign vs. To give someone free rein
This
is another example where the incorrect usage garners some
acknowledgment, but a spelling error is to blame for the
misunderstanding. Most people think that to “give someone free reign”
means that they are allowed royal power to do whatever they want, like a
king reigning over his subjects. However, originally, it came from the
days when people rode horses: When a horse encounters tricky terrain,
the rider often loosens the reins to allow the horse to navigate on its
own and trusts the animal’s judgement. So, the correct usage is to give
someone “free rein.”
21: Fit as a fiddle
This
is another phrase where the meaning is no longer the same as when it
originated. “Fit” in this context doesn’t mean “healthy.” It’s original
meaning was “suitable or as appropriate as can be.” This expression is
still used in phrases such as “being fit for a king.” In the 16th
century, it was originally “as right as a fiddle.” So, in case you were
confused, a fiddle has nothing to do with your amazing six-pack abs.
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