Cat: Up until l came to Vegas, my life was pretty average. Dad is a high school music teacher, gives clarinet lessons on weekends. Mom is a carpenter who dabbles in plumbing and electrical work. A couple of years ago she built a house with Habitat for Humanity. That was, like, her life’s goal right there. My older sister Claire got Dad’s musical talents and went to school as a voice major. She’s a stay-at-home-mom now, though. They are all amazing human beings and good at what they do. Just because they’re not in the sorcery and satyrs guild doesn’t mean they aren’t extremely gifted in their own ways. I envy them that sometimes. Less now, though. *she smiles at Flynn*
And about your own gifts… you didn’t suspect anything? You really didn’t know you’re a technomancer?
Cat: Would you? Would you even know what to look for? No, I grew up with a mother who encouraged me when I wanted to rip apart the toaster and figure out how it worked. I just got really good at fixing things, tinkering, figuring out how things work. Even after I found out about Dahlia and Eris…this weird other world…I didn’t think I was anything more than just a plain vanilla mortal.
Flynn, you’re a technomancer, correct?
Flynn: Yess’am.
Cat: Don’t let him fool you, he’s not just a, technomage, he’s THE technomage. He’s like a Nick Fury level badass when it comes to this shit.
Flynn: Your words, not mine.
Flynn, when did you first notice something different about yourself?
Flynn: A loooong long time ago in a galaxy far away… Honestly, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t know I was different.
So, you’ve always had your powers?
Flynn: More or less. I’ve learned and adapted over the years, but essentially I am what I am. Always have been.
And did you have a mentor figure to show you the ropes as you have with Cat?
Flynn: I had to figure out a lot for myself.
Marius: *sighs with boredom* Listen, Oprah, would you mind terribly waking me up when you’ve finished with the heartwarming tale of two ginger geeks?
Well, Marius, some of our readers would love to know a bit about your past, too. When did you realize that you weren’t human?
Marius: *snorts with derision* I was never led to believe I was anything less than a creature of the finest caliber: son of a proud, distinguished race of satyrs. My lineage was part of my bedtime stories.
Really? Can you tell us what family life is like for satyrs?
Marius: Father spirited me away from my mother not long after I learned to walk.
Flynn: Which one of them was the goat, precisely?
Marius: Mother was quite human, I’ll have you know.
Flynn: No accounting for taste.
Marius: Between the two of us, Flynn, which of us has seduced queens with a simple look across a crowded room? Anyone?
So… your father…?
Marius: Is similarly gifted, yes.
And he taught you to properly woo a person?
Marius: Swagger is not taught, friend. One is either born with impeccable style, staggering wit and charm such as myself or…well *gestures to Flynn*.
But you use a glamour, correct?
Marius: In the old days, one didn’t have to hide his better qualities, but now it seems to be a necessity. Would you particularly care to strut around looking like every bad depiction of the Devil? Or perhaps spend a quiet night splayed on a vivisection table so scientists try to read your entrails rather than a decent book out of antiquity? No? Then you’d probably choose a glamour as well. It’s a little bit of magic that goes along with the blood type. Along with my more interesting virtues. Speaking of which, Catherine, you look stunning when you’re bound in duct tape. Care for a shag this weekend?
Cat: *rolls her eyes* Could someone kill him? Please?
Well…um…before this gets out of hand, I think we’ll take some questions from our audience. This question comes to us from…wow, Catherine Sharp! Sweet! Catherine Sharp from the UK, you’re on the air!
Catherine Sharp (UK Edition): Hi, Cat. Are you annoyed that Microsoft named a programming language after us, or are you flattered?
Cat: I actually kind of like it. C# is fairly easy to learn, but it’s nice to be able to talk in code with people like Flynn from time to time. There was this one time, though, when some hotshot hacker type tried to pick me up with some cheesy ass line about how he could read C#, so could he read me. Whatever. Move on.
Next we have Andrew from New Jersey.
Andrew: My company’s web server keeps locking up and rebooting at random times. It does not appear to be linked to heavy traffic loads or any scheduled back-end job. I’ve rebuilt the server several times, and at this point just about every piece of @$!@#!!! software and hardware has been replaced. My question for you is this: Where should I sprinkle the magic fairy dust?
Cat: Stay. Away. From. Fairies. Trust me on this. But to answer your question…did you try turning it off and turning it back on?
Andrew: First thing we tried.
Cat: Right then… did you sing to it?
Andrew: Sing…? To it?
Cat: You’ve gotta sing to it, man! That’s tech support 101. Forget your multi-tool, put down the manual and show the server some love!
Kristin from California, you’re up.
Kristin: So, Flynn, I’m just going to come out and ask the one thing all of us are thinking: Why not Cat?
Flynn: *squirms in his seat* Um *voice cracks* What? What do you mean?
Marius: Oh, please, you’re not that thick! Why haven’t you shagged her? You’re certainly protective of her. *Marius rubs at his throat* If you’re not trying to get into her knickers, what’s the point? I think we’d all like to know that.
Cat: No… I don’t think…
Marius: Dear Kristin didn’t ask you, Catherine, she asked Flynn. Didn’t you, darling?
*Kristin blushes up to her ears and becomes a swooning puddle of duh. Marius winks at her. She faints.*
Flynn: *stammers* Well, I just… um. *coughs* I’m …
Marius: A eunuch?
Flynn: No.
Marius: Gay?
Flynn: *growing more agitated* No.
Marius: Sexually inept as well as socially dysfunctional?
Flynn: I just don’t think of Cat like that.
Cat: *waves* Hi there.
Flynn: I’m sorry, it’s not meant to be an insult.
Cat: And it’s not taken that way. What is insulting is this idea that I can’t make my dating decisions for myself.
Marius: Well, your track record isn’t particularly inspiring.
Flynn: He does have a point.
Cat: Shut up. Both of you. Next question.
Kristin: *reconstitutes* Oh! I’ve got a couple for Cat.
Cat: Fabulous. Hit me.
Kristin: If you were given your soul back right this second, what would you do? Would you celebrate? Would you run? Go into business for yourself?
Cat: I would–*stops…stumped* Well yeah I’d celebrate because … well… I mean, I’ve wanted my soul back for so long that… Shit. I have no idea what I would do.
Marius: I know something you could do…
Cat: What?
Marius: *waggles eyebrows*
Cat: *rolls eyes* Oh for fucksake…
Flynn: You walked right into that one.
Cat: Not helping!
Alright, guys, we’re almost out of time and I have a few lightning round questions for all of you. Ready? K… What is the ultimate comfort food?
Cat: Tomato soup and grilled cheese.
Flynn: Lucky Charms.
Marius: Filet mignon, fresh green beans sautéed with shallots and butter, and a good port wine. Perhaps a little taste of Kristin for dessert. *winks at Kristin again*
*Cat & Flynn stare*
Marius: We all find comfort in different ways.
Ooookay. Living in Vegas, do you gamble? If so, what’s your game of choice?
Marius: I choose not to gamble, really. The city offers so much more in the form of decadent entertainments.
Flynn: Video poker. But not often.
Cat: I used to play roulette, but certain experiences with various people have kinda soured me on gambling. Besides, my boss is a Trickster. Waking up is a gamble.
And, last one: Who would play you in a movie of your life?
Marius: No man living would be able to portray this combination of class, animal magnetism and bitter sarcasm. I would have to do the job myself.
Flynn: I don’t know about me, but I think Allison Scagliotti would be perfect to play Cat.
Cat: Really? The chick from Warehouse 13? She’s a badass! I love her! I accept. And I think one of the Weasley twins should play Flynn.
Flynn: Really? I give you Allison Scagliotti and you throw me a Weasley?
Cat: It fits!
Alright, thank you all so much. I’d like to open up questions to our audience… Come on, gang…what do you want to know about Cat, Flynn and Marius?
Books in the Etudes in C# series in the order they should be read:
Wild Card
About Jamie Wyman
Author Bio:
“After a misspent adulthood pursuing a Music Education degree, JAMIE WYMAN fostered several interests before discovering that being an author means never having to get out of pajamas. As an author, Jamie’s favorite playgrounds are urban fantasy, horror and creepy carnival settings. When she’s not traipsing about with her imaginary friends, she lives in Phoenix with two hobbits and two cats. She is proud to say she has a deeply disturbed following at her blog.”
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