Jack took a big breathe and forced a smile on his face. “Your man candy has arrived, ladies!”
The group of grandmas immediately began to giggle like they were teenagers and not the senior citizens that they were. “Jackie my boy,” shouted Betty. She patted the seat next to her. “Come sit here.” Jack raised an eyebrow at her. He didn’t trust Betty any more than he could knit a purl stitch, whatever the heck that was.
Although Jack loved this club of gray-haired knitting wonders and would do just about anything for them, he knew what they really were under their perfectly coiffured looks – troublemakers. They fooled most people into believing they were sweet, little old ladies who wouldn’t hurt a fly. Yeah right. They were troublemakers with a capital T and wouldn’t hesitate to bring him, Izzy, or Noel into a shit storm of their own creation, laughing the entire way.
Jack sighed and went to sit next to Betty. Betty was the head honcho of the so-called knitting club. If she wanted you to sit next to her, you were going to sit next to her come hell or high water. Unfortunately, that usually meant she was up to no good. Although to be fair when was she ever not up to no good?
Izzy, wonderful woman that she was, handed him a glass of lemonade and winked. He took a sip and it burned all the way down. “What the hell,” he coughed.
Izzy shrugged. “I didn’t taste test it. Too strong?”
The knitters peered at Izzy with questions in their eyes, but Jack was oblivious. “Just a bit. I’ll be sending you the bill for my esophagus transplant.”
“I don’t even think they do those.” Izzy murmured as she tripped onto Noel’s lap. Noel righted her and he pulled her close.
Betty set down her knitting and looked at Jack. When she crossed her hands in her lap like a prim old lady, Jack knew he was in for it. “Are you seeing anyone at the moment,” she asked.
Jack choked on another sip of lemonade. “What?”
“Are you seeing someone?” Betty asked again slowly as if he hadn’t understood the first time. Uh oh. He was most definitely in trouble.
“He’s not,” Izzy answered for him. “And he needs to get laid.”
Giggles erupted all around him except for Ally who blushed and hid her face. Ally was really a sweet old lady although she had a naughty streak, which sometimes ended with Jack getting his butt pinched. He thought it was cute, but still acted outraged whenever she managed to gather the courage to come near his tight tush.
“Oh good,” Betty clapped her hands. Clapping hands was never good. He raised an eyebrow at Betty and waited. “We have the perfect man for you!”
Jack groaned and hid his face in his hands. This is what his life was reduced to? Getting set up on blind dates by 80-year-old grandmas? He was pretty sure this was the definition of pathetic.
Betty slapped him on the shoulder although between his muscles and her dainty hands it was more like a tap. “Shush you. He is absolutely lovely. Comes to church every Sunday. All alone. Such a lovely young man.”
Martha placed a piece of paper in his hand and he looked down to see a phone number. “Now that’s Tommy’s telephone number,” Betty filled in. “He’s expecting your call. Don’t disappoint us.” Instead of getting guilt-tripped by his mother and grandmother, he had a whole group of grandmas to guilt-trip him.
Jack looked up and smiled at Martha who was still touching his arm after having placed the paper in his hand. “He’s a cutie pie,” she whispered and Jack held back from snorting. Was there any young man that these women didn’t find cute?
“Cutie pie?” Betty grunted. “That man is hot. H-o-t, hot!”
Izzy giggled from her perch on Noel’s lap. Jack gave her his best evil eye but she just stuck her tongue out at him. “You’ve got nothing to lose, Jack. Just go for it!” He raised his eyebrow at her enthusiasm. Before she could push him any further, Noel put his hand over his mouth. She bit him but kept quiet.
“The five female seniors’ involvement in all of this, especially the investigation, is both hilarious and endearing.” ~ Amazon Reviewer
“I would recommend this book (and am) to friend that read. It was light hearted, quick to read, and fun in all the best ways.” ~ Amazon Reviewer
“The “gray haired detectives” are back, which I’m happy to say are in their usual rare form. There is nothing feeble about them and they use their skills to do recon missions, perform accounting audits, and get in a little bit of trouble with the local police. In their spare time they play matchmaker to the single people in their church, whether or not the poor souls want any help.” ~ Amazon Reviewer
“D.E. Haggerty writes wonderfully funny mysteries that have lots of detail and chuckles throughout.” ~ Amazon Reviewer
I was born and raised in Wisconsin, but think I’m a European. After spending my senior year of high school in Germany, I developed a bad case of wanderlust that is yet to be cured. My flying Dutch husband and I have lived in Ohio, Virginia, the Netherlands, Germany and now Istanbul. We still haven’t decided if we want to settle down somewhere – let alone where. I’m leaning towards somewhere I can learn to surf even though the hubby thinks that’s a less than sound way to decide where to live. Although I’ve been a military policewoman, a commercial lawyer, and a B&B owner, I think with writing I may have finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up. That’s assuming I ever grow up, of course. Between playing tennis, running much slower than I would like, trying to adopt every stray dog within a 5-mile radius, traveling to exotic new locales, singing off tune, drinking entirely too many adult beverages, addictively watching new movies and reading books like they are going out of style, I write articles for a local expat magazine and various websites, review other indie authors’ books, write a blog about whatever comes to mind and am working on my sixth book.
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