There are, however, a handful of irksome situations that book lovers
have to face. When is it okay to abandon a so-so novel? What's the most
efficient method of bookshelf organization? Is it snobby to dump someone
on the basis of his or her dislike of reading? These and other quirky
conundrums are perhaps the only downside to loving books with all of
your heart and soul.
1. Finding a comfortable reading position is a never-ending quest. Chair or bed? Side or back? In a box? With a fox?
2. On airplanes, you hesitantly flick on the overhead light while everyone else is napping.
3. Paper cuts may look like minor injuries, but the pain can be excruciating.
4. Walking and reading at the same time requires hand-eye coordination only professional athletes have been endowed with.
5. What on earth are you supposed to do with the jacket on a
hardcover while you're reading it? Keep it on and risk damaging it?
Take it off and store it in a weird nook, never to find it again?
6. Deciding what to read is a choice that presents you with an embarrassment of riches.
7. The typeface and page length of a book can seriously
impact your reading experience, sometimes for the worse (sans-serif font
is a huge no-no).
8. A book can be composed of the worst drivel you've ever
laid eyes on, you're still afflicted with major guilt when you banish it
to the "I Will Never Ever Ever Finish This. Like, Ever." shelf.
9. You lament time that you've wasted in the past; all of
those hours scouring celebrity Twitters could have been put towards
finally reading Moby Dick!
10. Some people count down the minutes until their lunch
hour; you count down the minutes until Jeffery Eugenides or Donna Tartt
releases their next book (roughly 5 million for Tartt, but who's
counting?!)
11. Finishing a book you loved is like saying goodbye to a
good friend. You've been through so much together! And while you may see
each other again, it won't be quite the same.
12. Forget finding roommates; the most stressful thing
about moving is figuring out a way to transport boxes upon boxes of
heavy books.
13. You're constantly rethinking your bookshelf strategy.
Should you color-coordinate, or take a more practical approach, such as
publication date or alphabetization? Or, if you're feeling ambitious,
should you tackle the autobiographical bookshelf, à la Rob Gordon from High Fidelity?
14. Your mood is directly impacted by the mood of the book
that you're reading; your friends have learned to avoid you during
Dostoyevsky months or Bret Easton Ellis weeks.
15. You take found books home like abandoned puppies,
chirping, "Can we keep it?!" That'd be well and good if it didn't happen
once a day.
17. "I don't read" is a relationship death knell, akin to "I loathe my mother" or "I enjoy upsetting kittens."
18. You may or may not own two (or three or four) copies of
a beloved book. You can't help it, the redesigned covers are
irresistible!
An avid reader is one of the best things a person can be. Not only does reading literature enhance your brain's connectivity (because, science!), it also allows you to experience other cultures, and avoid making embarrassing grammatical errors.
